Category : Humor

Life can be hard.  Even for us here.  But, I’ve learned to LAUGH AT IT!

Being a Heyoka (clown), well, just for fun, I’m now keeping my eyes open for a 4-legger WALKER…..Got the rest needed : Small bike wheels, an Umbrella , and a Porta Pot.
Wanna build a WHEELED “walker”, WITH Toilet ….that way, If I lose EVERYTHING, at least I’ll have a Moveable Porta Pot to set on / and to “do my “Duty” “.  I may end up homeless, but I’ll  STILL HAVE A POT TO PISS IN!   ( :    re

(WS)

Snowman Funnies!

‘Cause we could use a laugh!

Calvin’s Snow Art (Hobbes helps!)

38 Snowman Nightmares based on Calvin’s art

–WS

We ALL here enjoy This “winter treat”.  A number of recipes on internet.

Stay clear of brown or yellow snow tho.  (  :

Never use the FIRST snow.  Too much “stuff” in it.  “Skim” the top when you collect.  Aho?

We mix in different jams for different tastes.  Including CHOCOLATE Mix and even Peanut Butter.

Mize well TEST this…..you ALL will enjoy!     MERRY XMAS!   re

(WS)

Think I don’t work?  Dome work, then answered 2 snail mails and ONE HUNDRED and TWENTY SEVEN EMAILs AND 3 Needed runs to town.

(OOPS, one HEALING “Work” as well)

To top it all off…STILL  have a Few HOURS before GOING TO BED…..Other Emails DUE!

Oh, Don’t forget the PHONE CALLS!  Them too.

Any wonder I get a bit cranky and am almost always tired?   (  :   re
(WS)
At 7-11 today, a bird had flown into their Wide Open door(s).

The owner saw me coming and I heard her say (a number watching) “Maybe red elk can tell us if this means anything.”

I  asked   “what?”

She explained.  “DOES it mean something?”  (a “sign”)

I replied  “Yes.  it means a window or door is open!”

Sheeessh……
(  :      re
The student sat across the Picnic table from me.  A “Hungry One”…and (PTL) one who TESTS.

During her days with me she kept returning to this same phrase:  “I WISH I COULD LEARN THE SACRED SILENCE.”

MANY times.

sigh

Finally, here she was, doing so once again.

TIME TO BE BRUTAL!

I looked at her and said : ” SHUT UP!”

(Are YOU like this?  Well, then:  SHUT UP!)   ( :    re
(WS)
My daughter asked me to take her debit card and get a few things for her.
I am unfamiliar with these cards.
Taking the items to the checkout stand, I inserted.  Evidently not the correct way.
Tried again…Ditto

The line behind me growing…as too was my frustration.

The checkout clerk (a nice looking gal in her late 30s (I’d guess))…saw what I was doing wrong.

She said  “Strip DOWN, Facing Me.”

oh oh!

I looked into her (nice!) eyes and said :

“You first.”

( :    re
(WS)

Time to Take a Break!

Watch/Listen to this link here!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxib3ROyK8w

re

LOL!

Daughter had a mouse on her dresser last night.  She keeps a night light on.  Noise woke her…mouse was on other side of a “water ball” thingy she has.  Was looking at her through it…water ball MAGNIFIES!  “2 HUGE…..GIANT EYES…I mean HUGE! STARING AT ME!  SCARED THE HELL OUTTA ME!!”.  Ran off..a BABY  Mouse !  (:   re

(WS)

A CATHOLIC HEART ATTACK

Now THIS is worth SHARING!  ( :   re

 

A man suffered a serious heart attack and had open
heart bypass surgery. He awakened
from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at
a Catholic Hospital . As he was
recovering, a nun began asking him questions regarding how
he was going to pay for his treatment.

She asked, ‘Do you have health insurance?’

He replied in a raspy voice, ‘No health
insurance..’

The nun asked, ‘Do you have money in the
bank?’

He replied, ‘No money in the bank.’

The nun asked, ‘Do you have a relative who could
help
you?’

He said, ‘I only have a spinster sister, who is a
nun.’

The nun became agitated and announced loudly,
‘Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to
God.’

The patient replied, ‘Send the bill to
my brother-in-law.’