Down to an Ember

In response to a sister:

Well I’ll be darned…… outta be a PSYCHOLOGIST!   ( :
Sure makes a person THINK.  Hummmmm  YOU’RE GOOD!

Many Medicine NAs have quit…..(“Put down their Feathers”)……because they couldn’t SURVIVE on those who receive their services but give nothing in exchange.
The 13th Original Inner Heyoka did… a sense.  Turned “Judas”…..gave up to THE Way for A Way…and started TRADITION.   Leaving only 12 from then-on-in.  I being one of these long gone original 12….and WE are dying.  None other WILL take our place as WE go.  We are the LAST OF THIS SOCIETY.
Thus we frantically “cast our net”.  “Catching” as many “fish” as we can, before it’s our “turn”.
I find that URGENCY so Strongly, I find myself TOSSING LIT STICKS OF DYNAMITE to “get” then NET TOSSING.

I don’t like what (how) I’m going about this.
The TIME is SO SHORT!  FAR shorter then people realize.

It has turned me into a MONSTER, in MY eyes.  I DON’T LIKE IT!

YEARS (even more than the soon-to-be 11) BEFORE the first Coast-to-Coast program. MANY MANY YEARS, “sweetly sharing”….to about 0 results.  So….DYNAMITE!

WHO am I to “stir the waters” with DYNAMITE!

I KNOW I’m NOT “HIM”…but find I am “taking on” HIS “persona”.  I DONT LIKE IT!  thus I don’t care much for ME anymore.

And GUESS WHAT!?   I don’t like THAT! EITHER!

So FEW responding to the “call”….all RISING to the SHOCK, but most dazzling off…others, belly up to drift away.  FEW SURVIVE!

I’ve told of the proper way to approach a NA Med. Person (and did so at THEIR request).  “ALWAYS COME WITH TOBACCO.”
It is only LOGICAL to PAY FOR SERVICES.  WAS that way….long ago.  Even the NA have forgotten this.
I’ve helped a few (3+hundred I suppose).  Pay?  Well, got a HOT DOG to return one’s sight from total blindness. $1200.00 to “come”…on a trip that cost ME over $3000.00 MORE (our FULL Income Tax return). FAMILY $$ !!!

Tho it happens, it is SO RARE to receive.

It is NOT the Inner Heyoka’s WAY to SET AN AMOUNT.   THAT was started (“pay”) by the 13th.  We are STILL relying on CREATORGOD.   Yet FEW SEEM TO KNOW HIM ANYMORE!
Know OF “Him”….but it ends there mostly.

“What do you charge, re?”    ASK “DAD” and give accordingly.  Guess He tells ‘em “Give a smile and Thank You, Re Elk”….or ???????

OF WE LAST 12, I AND 2 OTHERS ARE STILL ACTIVE! The others? “SHUT DOWN”. Gone ONLY “Local”.  No longer casting their nets….letting an occasional “fish” get caught in the shallow hollow of a pool RIGHT BEFORE THEIR FEET.  So, out of we 12…only we 3 are “out there”, and one now near death. VERY near.

TWO…for the WORLD!

I can NOT set a CHARGE!  It is NOT OUR WAY!

We not only are “DINOSAURIC, but LIVING EXAMPLES of what USE TO BE.

“Walking MUSEUMS”!  Dinosaurs of a long ago past……AND a THORN in the FEET OF MAN.   And treated as such.  Aho?


Big Brother, OUR LEADER AND EXAMPLE, didn’t ether…tho He DID have BACKERS (Judas took care of the donation purse).   I tho, have little that support. Only 3 on a Consistant basis.  3 I CAN COUNT ON.   It means a LOT, tho NOT alot of money.  It’s those 3, and the occasional Senders, my SS $$$ AND M’s WORKING (for weekly pay check) AND CREATOR, that keeps this work On Going. my own SS $…and HIM…For the WORLD!

And I am burning out.  So TIRED I now cast DYNAMITE.  TO TIRED TO CAST a NET!  And, well, turning into something I DON’T like.

I no longer am a BURNING LOG.  Not even a SMOLDERING Piece of it.  Now NEARLY A DEAD PIECE OF CHARCOAL!   Still LIGHTABLE, Still a FIRE HAZARD….but, basically, BURNED OUT. I’ve LOST MY FIRE!

Warm…but “handleable”…by BARE HANDS!

All I need is a STRONG BREATH to RE-KINDLE. Once again able to PROPERLY START FIRES!

‘Til that comes, I lay rather dormant.

Turned HEADY in my death throws.  Helping no one by THAT Example!  Aho?

I DON’T LIKE IT!  Give me KINDLING …. and BLOW!!!   Let me LIGHT GREAT FIRES, the CORRECT WAY!  The way a Burning LOG is MEANT too.

I  would rather turn to Charcoal DUST then PLAY GOD!  It is NOT WHAT I AM, NOR WHAT I LIKE!   Aho?   re



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4 Responses to “Down to an Ember”

  1. Matt says:

    A little sad to hear. If I have learned anything from you re, it is the understanding that your ember points to the bonfire of creation, as it is illumined by it-

    I see your work as god-ly and applaud you for it through new action and Being on my behalf. There is no observer without the observed, and in this way you are doing the creators work ALL the time bringing the awareness level to new heights, and I sadly hear the frustration in your voice and words. The NA peoples have put up with a lot to now be responsible for saving the world, and so I propose the same hatred and seclusion has been felt by many other Nations in the same way- and also many individuals. This is not your burden alone and other flames are being discovered that will show you the bonfire in others.

    One relation, one experience- share and know you are loved- not all us white folk are the same… and yet we are no different from you or any other. Maybe just fatter blinkers to unveil, and an obvious defunct society that does not rear its head until we wake a little. Franky it’s been interesting living my life from a child knowing this, very lonely till recently.

    Amazing knowing that the mind, body and world are all objects, and it is the witness or god (little g) in us that is the real ‘I’ …that is the subject that experiences itself through perceptions, senses and feelings..
    I guess you just have to ask what it is that is experiencing a thought, and you get awareness alone. Could you say that Awareness in Knowingness, and Knowingness is Being? Being godly is experiencing all as one- the observer observing the observed without identifying through concepts??
    I believe your Being with the best of them re!

  2. Matt says:

    Another thing if ok… I have recently started working building an alternative school using the ancient methods- mud and clay bricks and walls, wooden pegs and second hand materials… also using hay bails and clay/mud around the outside of the hay bale frame, and using the sacred geometry of the Creator, like the ‘golden mean spiral’ for the chook shed!! (one beautiful home for the gals!!)
    I was wondering if you had any specifications for building a sweat lodge and also anything else about the cleansing that may help… is it recommended while fasting at same time as these are both types detoxifications…. do both help to unveil the spirit in the same way?

    I have sent photos of my home built with the same methods previously.
    how to make the ‘cob’- mix a little water with 3 parts wet clay/silt… add a large handfull of straw AND make a slurry… add 8 parts earth/soil and 8 parts crushed cement or stones.. gives you a mix to build walls!!!
    bit wetter without the rocks for A RENDER OVER HAY BAIL WALLS..

    perfectly surrounded by natural materials

  3. Whale Sister says:

    I’m sorta kinda “simple”…your comment is a bit hard to comprehend, so can’t answer (your last lines). BUT…I AM SEEING A CHANGE OF OTHERS ATTITUDES! This in JUST a WEEK! GOOD “SIGN” to me. Helps on that “blowing” on my embers…ie : HOPE! GB re

  4. Whale Sister says:

    Some questions here WAY TO LENGTHY IN ANSWER! But, so Can be. I’m QUITE Familiar with ALL these methods of building. Doing similar here and on other property. JUST BACK from other.
    One thing on Earth very few EVER tell is BIG ROOF OVERHANGS! Keeps ALOT of weather wear down. Aho?
    I enjoy Earth mix with Short WEEDS (dead). Why PAY for STRAW? I have ALL NEEDED to Blow On PAPERCRETE…but WEEDS DO JUST AS WELL! Aho?
    On straw Bale making, I CUT THE BALES in 10 inch PADS. HEAT / COOL AS W E L L as a FULL BALE. A LOT less MONEY. EASIER to lift / etc.
    Intend to do this on our 30″ (Dia.) x 18″ (high) dome on our other place. Aho? BUT…having NO ROOF….WEATHER PROOFING a MUST! Aho? re